Who the Hell is Shell?
On March 7th, 2017, my husband and I welcomed our daughter into the world. Zaya.
Zaya changed the course of my life dramatically. Prior to her birth I was climbing the corporate ladder and was focused on making advancements in my career. I was a hard working employee that always put forth the initiative to learn more and take on more responsibility. At the age of 30, I was already on my third career and was helping to lead a small business. I worked more than full time each week running the operations, human resources, and accounting departments for a small brokerage. I was pretty much responsible for everything outside of sales.
When I found out that I was expecting our daughter I made plans to keep my full time job, work from home, and try to care for our daughter simultaneously. A new born baby… how much work could it really be, right? They don't do much outside of eat and sleep... I could breastfeed her while working... I could strap her in a baby wrap and cuddle anytime she needed it... I could put her down in her swing when I needed some space to focus... The best of both worlds- home with my baby and still contributing to our family financially.
Maybe that would have worked for some moms, but not for me. Zaya required to be held constantly. Also bounced. Not a gentle rock or sway but a full on work out with the help of a yoga ball. Squats would also settle her down. Yes, you read that correctly. My daughter required those holding her to do SQUATS if they wanted to keep her happy! Needless to say, sitting still was not an option. I invested in a yoga ball chair so we could bounce all day but also give me the support I needed to work at my computer... Didn’t help. I even found myself almost falling off of it quite a few times. We bought two different kinds of automatic swings that moved and vibrated and played music... Didn’t do the trick. We invested in apparatuses to raise my monitors so I could stand and rock (lets be real, squat) with her while working. Ha! Not a realistic option for 50 or more hours a week. I recruited help from friends and family to come over and be with her while I crammed productivity into those moments of freedom. Zaya would scream 75% of that time. The situation was not working for us.
After a couple months of trying to juggle both being and mom and continuing my career, it became very clear that doing both was not going to be sustainable. So we were faced with a choice. Was I going to continue with my full time career, climbing the corporate ladder, or was I going to stay home to raise our child full time? So in July of 2017 I took a leap that changed my life.
Cheers to struggles of motherhood, however they may look for you!